I'm not entirely sure how to begin this, but I'll stumble on and see where it goes. For about the past year or so (+/-), knifemaking has been increasingly less fun for me. It seems I'm usually struggling with an injury, struggling to get some knives done for a show, struggling to fill orders that are years past due, struggling with the frustration of trying to get a collaboration going with little or no capacity to influence its course, or maybe just struggling to keep my equilibrium in the cyberworld that sometimes turns ugly and is often polarized in ways I just don't enjoy. Maybe I'm a big part of these problems; in fact I'm reasonable certain I am, but that doesn't make the environment more enjoyable for me by knowing that. I am fairly certain I'm not resposible for all these problems, but there's already enough mudslinging here and I don't feel the need to contribute more.
Another influence that has dramatically diminished the joy of doing this is the loss of a couple of my very best friends to tragic accidents and a heart attack. Losing your "go to" guy is tough. Losing three such friends in as many years leaves you feeling snake bit and a whole lot alone. They've become irreplaceable.
The bottom line is I really don't enjoy making knives anymore, at least not given the circumstances and conditions under which I've had to make them over the past couple years. Fortunately, I've not accepted deposits for my orders so the number of people I OWE is fairly small. I do owe a few and will see they get their knives over the next year. As for the balance of my orders, many of which are from people who buy and sell and are not those who buy my knives for the pleasure of using them, I'm cancelling them. All of them.
I'm truly sorry to have to do this, and I realize I am disappointing a great many very nice people who are both knife lovers and personal friends, but I need to do this. I've discussed this at length with my dear wife Carole, and she too has decided she wants me back the way I was, and the only way I'm going to get there is by returning to the craft I loved and abandoning the business it's become that has worn me down and which I've grown to dislike.
So what does this mean for the future? I'm not entirely sure. I plan to continue making knives, at a much lower rate, and I'll likely continue to do a couple shows each year. But what I'm not going to do is to make 57 more Retributions or 42 more DogTags or 26 more Chainsaws. I'll make some of those, but not many, and most will incorporate some changes I've had in mind for a long time but didn't have the time to try because of the load of work already on my plate. Now I can; my plate's mostly empty. I'll probably continue to pursue a collaboration or two if that can be made to happen. Ontario will be making the folder, but not the fixed blades or anything else that's new. I may continue the Chainsaws with Fox in Italy; maybe not. I'm open to other discussions, and will seek some out. I'll make knives that interest me and will sell them, mostly on the internet. I'll offer a few to those who've had orders with me, but just a few and with no promises. And please don't ask, because I won't if you do. I'll still visit the internet forums, but not much. I'll try to do a better job with the Newbies Forum on Knifeforums, because I think helping others is important. Otherwise I'll avoid forums where the game is about bashing anyone or anyone's knives.
To those whom I'm disappointing, please accept my sincerest apologies. I wish it could be otherwise, but it can't.
Jerry Hossom
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